I am in need of courage, but I am, indeed, the Cowardly Lion. I act like I’m not with my unsolicited opinions and strong stances that I take. On the outside, I’m a strong drink of water that sometimes marks his territory with God-knowledge. But on the inside, I’m a pussycat, scared of what you may think of me. I’m the king of my own little forest that few seek to enter because of the ways I relate.
Then in late winter, the Wizard must have dreamed up something designed just for the likes of me… something called Covid-19, bringing a disruption to my normal rhythm, placing time on my hands, drawing my thoughts toward the sick and dying, forcing simplicity, giving me a larger worldview and fencing me in with only my wife… and myself. It has been an ugly thing, no doubt, but also an opportunity, a chance for me to step out of the sleepy woods I’ve grown accustomed to and into that place which peels back what I can’t, to discover a bravery I didn’t know I had… to find who I wanted to be.
I found that my hunger for God was real. That it never dissipates. I found that all my pursuits were me-centered in tiny little ways, even when noble. And yep, in the midst of all this turning-me-on-my-head-while-wearing-a-facemask, I discovered who I want to be.
I want to be a prayer.
Not so much a pray-er (one who prays), but a prayer (a devout petition to God). My desire is that I may become more than the act of saying a prayer, and actually be a living, walking prayer myself. One whose thoughts, intentions, days, and actions are like incense before the nostrils of God.
FOR REFLECTION:
Are there things that you are recognizing as “opportunities” throughout this past Covid-year that have disrupted your world in good ways?
How would being a prayer differ in your life from saying a prayer?
