I am in need of courage, but I am, indeed, the Cowardly Lion. I act like I’m not with my unsolicited opinions and strong stances that I take. On the outside, I’m a strong drink of water that sometimes marks his territory with God-knowledge. But on the inside, I’m a pussycat, scared of what you may think of me. I’m the king of my own little forest that few seek to enter because of the ways I relate.
Then in late winter, the Wizard must have dreamed up something designed just for the likes of me… something called Covid-19, bringing a disruption to my normal rhythm, placing time on my hands, drawing my thoughts toward the sick and dying, forcing simplicity, giving me a larger worldview and fencing me in with only my wife… and myself. It has been an ugly thing, no doubt, but also an opportunity, a chance for me to step out of the sleepy woods I’ve grown accustomed to and into that place which peels back what I can’t, to discover a bravery I didn’t know I had… to find who I wanted to be.
I found that my hunger for God was real. That it never dissipates. I found that all my pursuits were me-centered in tiny little ways, even when noble. And yep, in the midst of all this turning-me-on-my-head-while-wearing-a-facemask, I discovered who I want to be.
I want to be a prayer.
Not so much a pray-er (one who prays), but a prayer (a devout petition to God). My desire is that I may become more than the act of saying a prayer, and actually be a living, walking prayer myself. One whose thoughts, intentions, days, and actions are like incense before the nostrils of God.
Are there things that you are recognizing as “opportunities” throughout this past Covid-year that have disrupted your world in good ways?
How would being a prayer differ in your life from saying a prayer?